I loved reading your post.. i'm dealing with the person I invisioned to be the one I'd spend my life with. We met 6 months ago online. We've had a connection stronger than any relationship I've ever been in. My backstory: Previously, I was married 19 yrs. Unknowingly to me,, he had a 9yr. affair with a person I considered family. During that time, I was mentally. emotionally and close to being physically abused by him. Although I wasn't the person who cheated, they found ways to try to blame me.. After catching them, they spent the greater part of the year mentally torturing me, to the point of hacking into my social media account and contacting my friends and posing as a strangers who claimed to know me and contacting my friends at work. Needless to say, it took years for me to realize the guilt and shame I had been carrying wasn't. mine to deal with.
Six months after my divorce, I jumped into a rationship with an alcoholic leaving me still emotionally abused. Last year after 4yrs. I came to realize that nothing was going to improve in me if I didn't leave that toxic relationship.
In January I met a man online. He had moved to my state not even a year before due access to specialized medical care. Although he lives 2hrs. from me, up until 3 weeks ago we spent every minute together. If we were separate we'd be in constant communication. He helped me to find self worth and showed me what a true loving relationship should be like.. We talked about moving in together, planning out future, set goals. The chemistry was amazing. I began noticing that he would get angry and be fixated in long tantrums that can last for days. The actions don't fit the situation. Id try to reassure him throughout the tantrums and offer solutions, then give him space when I saw he needed it. After he'd process it seemed like he'd "come to" and he'd be ok. His son and I were talking and his mother (who is a nurse practitioner) told him she thinks his dad is bipolar. Both of us dismissed the thought by thinking it was just a poke at him, but now I'm not so sure.
After 6 yrs on disability, he was cleared for work 3 weeks ago. He is in a high stress executive position. The first day he was to go back to work he was hospitalized with a life threatening issue. I stayed by his side as much as possible. He reiterated how much he loved me and how happy he was to have me. He demanded to leave the hospital asap to begin work.
I haven't seen him since. He texts everyday but only sending lengthy text about his job. Somedays he's over the moon happy and the others he's angry. He's not asking about me or telling me he loves me. I had to beg him to talk on the phone one night in 3 weeks. When we did he was on an hour tantrum about work. My phone died while we were talking. The next day I got a text stating he didn't know how much he had said before noticing I wasn't there. Then he said I love you very much. That was 2 days ago.
I'm so hurt and confused by his behavior. I don't know what to do. I love him and don't want to lose him. Im afraid that if I try to talk to him right now,, he'd lose it.. Im becoming depressed and feeling consumed by his distance. Any advice?