Married to BPD person, currently looking for my way out. I know how hard it is. I know how painful it is. And I know how great they can be. But Leave. Stop agonizing, stop holding on. You deserve consistent communication and love. This is not it. I’ve spent nine years with my person, married for 3 years and every six months this man is done and I beg him to stay. I knew one day I’d be strong enough to say “okay.” when he said he was done, and that day has come. You will find the strength too. It may seem like you are on the up and up but the other shoe will drop. Just leave seriously save yourself and leave.