We care. We just feel like the other person is better off without us and everything that comes along with BPD. When I’m experiencing a depressive episode I tend to ghost friends & family. I have no desire to talk, socialize, connect.. it’s as if one’s wires have been severed. It’s a terrible feeling. Also during this time I feel extremely discouraged…feel defeated by the disorder. Especially with the up and down episodes.. When I’m happy, I’m convinced the worst is over and I’m cured. I feel hopeful and excited. I start setting goals again. Then comes the depressive episode and my dreams are shattered once again. ..and with every episode your hopes are crushed harder than the last.