I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you get better soon.
Hi, I'm 12, I first started self-harming around September. I had an abusive and toxic mother who made me feel like a loser. So, one day at school my religious school I didn't do my homework and my teacher yelled at me. I got mad and blamed it on my mother cause religious school was a choice and I wanted to go to real school, but she made me go to a religious school. I grabbed a box of matches and started to burn the side of my calves. When I burned myself, I felt a feeling of release. After that every time she would beat me or yell at me, I would just grab a match and burn my calves or my arms. Then one day my aunt saw the burn marks on my arm, and she was like come here I have to show your mom. She dragged me to my mom that was sitting in the living with my entire family and forcefully showed her my arm and then she was like what are these? I just acted normal and said they're just mosquito bites. Then my older brother interfered in the conversation and said no they're not they're self-harm wounds. And then everyone started saying "she's depressed she burns herself because she hates her life". I just ran away and for the rest of the day my older brother and cousin were making fun of me. My mom just yelled at me and acted like nothing happened. After that I didn't stop burning but after a couple of months, I decided that it was time to stop. Then one random day I was mad at my mom for yelling at me and treating me like a slave that I grabbed a match and burned my myself. I felt relieved and a bit relaxed. That was the last time I burned myself. It's been about 4 weeks I think, since I burned. I still hate her and she still treats me like a slave. I'm planning on running away in a couple of weeks.